Feb. 22nd, 2012

zfreelance: (Shadow Monster)
Shit I Say When I'm Sleep-Deprived

ME: (playing Skyrim) Hold still, god dammit!
COWORKER: Wtf are you yelling at?
ME: It's a butterfly and I WANT IT.

-

ME: (opens fridge) SWEET BABY JESUS, THE BEER FAIRY'S BEEN HERE!! :D

-

ME: (sees a guy wearing a snazzy lime green blazer) Hey, nice jacket.
JACKET GUY: (smirks) Work as a Student Ambassador for two years, and they set you up right!
ME: Yeah? Well, I've been working as an RA for three years, and all I've got is a polyester polo shirt, so go fuck yourself.

-

ME: (trying to get some sleep before class)
FIRE ALARM: LOL NOPE!
ME: are you fucking kidding me right now

-

ME: (opening a beer with the edge of my counter-top) Bottle openers are for bitches. ... or people who own bottle openers.



TL;DR i need to go to bed.

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