...

Oct. 4th, 2012 07:35 pm
zfreelance: (Watch the World Burn)
In the time I have attended my university, we have had:

- A rapist who would pose as a plainclothes police officer and molest the women he pulled over
- A suspected murderer running around in the woods
- A series of missing/suicidal people who were suspected to have ended up in the woods
- Some sort of secret society/cult have weird-ass rituals in the nature preserve behind campus, who then later vandalized campus to advertise their "secret" society
- A storage locker that was found to have been full of human organs (like human hearts being kept in Polar Ice cups full of formaldehyde)
- And now they may have found human bones on our nature trail

I'm almost positive that my school has been built on the Hellmouth.
zfreelance: (Watch the World Burn)
Eh. I'm pretty sure I fail as a 'sensitive human being'. And I care not at all.

My school has had a recent outbreak (read: two instances) of finding small nooses hung in random places. I saw one of these hanging on a sign, myself, and remembered thinking, "... I wish I knew how to tie a noose. Nooses are cool." And then I went on my way.

But apparently nooses in trees have racial implications. Or, that's how my school is interpreting it. So, after 6 separate e-mails from the school about how seriously they were taking this, I had to sit through a nice, long, touchy-feely meeting for the RAs to discuss why such things were unacceptable. And I was blown. Away.

People were freaking terrified of these little nooses. And I just can't wrap my head around it. There are no leads as to who placed the nooses. There was nothing to imply that it was racially motivated. And when I said as much, I got stared at like I kicked a homosexual puppy.

The conversation I was forced to endure went from the nooses to the god damn Laramie Project, and I wanted to scream.

I'm almost positive that the Salem Witch Trials predate the KKK, but you don't hear me screaming about The Crucible. Not to mention that having conversations like this are like discussing religion. You're either preaching to the convinced or you're not making a dent.

Part of this is clearly the fact that I'm white, yeah okay. Goody for me. But part of it is that I am a bitter realist. People suck, and getting upset when things happen is just dumb. Either do something about it or get over it, because the only thing you can control is yourself.

But what really bothered me was that people started talking, seriously talking about censoring and monitoring student and employee social media, as well as the installation of cameras in all the residence halls. And the Powers That Be facilitating the conversation sighed, like they agreed, like this was something that should happen.

And all I had running through my head was an SNL mash-up of V For Vendetta meets 1984.

Just. AUGH.

/soapbox



my problem with authority called. it wants its movie collection back.


Update: I keep getting FB invites to rallys to protest this "great tragedy".

That actually pisses me off more than anything. A Shakespearean play is a great tragedy. A school shooting is a great tragedy. Your collective overreaction to innocuous stimuli? Is not.

Fucking first world shit, right there.

...

Apr. 6th, 2012 03:45 pm
zfreelance: (Dancing Bitches)
That awkward moment when you realize that you have been going to the wrong lab section for most of the semester, and no one noticed.

... four more weeks of class. I may or may not make it. -_-
zfreelance: (Guns and Booze)
Watched The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. That shit is pretty intense. And Daniel Craig is still ridiculously pretty.

Got a ticket today that I can't afford for having an expired tag that I couldn't afford to renew.

I've been bouncing up and down between okay and really-fucking-burned-out for the past few days, and the only thing that helps is not thinking about how fucking bored I am with most of the crap I'm dealing with.

I've spent way too much of my paycheck, already, and cannot make myself care.

It is hard to make myself accept that I still have another year of this. I keep hoping, in the back of my mind, that my job will just pile on that last fucking straw and I can have a nice, satisfying mental breakdown/shitfit in public, march out the door, and never look back. But then I would be homeless, and that's a pain in the ass.

So, now I'm going to get drunk on a Monday night and try to make it through this semester.

/bitching and moaning

Update: after waking up at 5AM to the exact same sensations of frustration, anger, and general apathy, I have decided that the dark chocolate bars I found under my bed the other night are the cause.

It's depression chocolate.

Be-fucking-ware.

...

Jan. 23rd, 2012 02:26 am
zfreelance: (Drunk)
You guys. Welcome to my fucking life.



SING IT, BROTHER.

::eats chips all alone::
zfreelance: (Dancing Bitches)
DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE.

SUCK IT, FALL 2011.

My exams, my classes, and my residents are OUT OF MY LIFE until January 2012, and thank the sweet zombie Jesus for it, because I was well on my way to a drunken shotgun rampage.

I am lingering at my school until next week, but here's a quick look at all the fucks I give:



Yup. All gone.

And now we move on to the portion of my year that is comprised entirely of gay porn and video games.



And I'm done.

...

Dec. 6th, 2011 05:15 pm
zfreelance: (Guns and Booze)
I have come to a realization. And that realization is: It is never too early to start drinking wine right out of the bottle.

Update: I have been drinking since 11AM. Today has been very productive.

...

Nov. 29th, 2011 03:04 pm
zfreelance: (We Find Wildness)
I owe some dark deity one hell of a cup of tea. I woke up this morning and realized that, not only did I have a test in 30 minutes, but I had a presentation due, as well.

Cue the panicked flailing.

Luckily, I had a written report already on my hard drive that suited my purposes, so I spent 20 minutes transposing from Word to Powerpoint, threw on some clothes, and cram-studied all the way to class.

I don't know how I did on the test (my guess: not that awesome) but my teacher complimented my presentation, and I have no fucking idea how I pulled that shit off, other than deus ex machina. So, there will be tea. LOTS OF TEA.

I should have been an English major. My bullshit skills are wasted here.
zfreelance: (Fucking rabbit...)
Whelp. Shit just got real at work.

::crazy eyes::

In related news, a new rule I enacted in our building about people sleeping in the public lobbies as opposed to their rooms has sparked an "Occupy" movement, where kids... crash on couches.



dgaf, bitches. I need a fucking vacation/new job/life. In that order.


Also:


Peace.
zfreelance: (Cool Stuff Weird Things)
First day of classes post.

Basically, I have a fuck-ton, and it is up in the air whether this year is going to be uniquely challenging or soul-crushingly difficult. Most of that depends on the dick-quotient my professors aspire to. Kind of a dick? I can handle you. AND I MEAN HANDLE HURHURHUR Mucho dick with a side of douche canoe? I might bring a can of mace to class.

So, we'll see.

In awesome news, my dad sent me a printer. My dad is the Batman.

My sister and I went shopping, yesterday, at Best Buy. She had a 25$ gift card to kill, and I had free time. We perused the aisles. Here's what went down:

ME: So, whatcha lookin' for?
SISTER: I dunno. What's at Best Buy?
ME: Lots of stuff. Like movies.
SISTER: I can watch those online.
ME: True. CD's, too.
SISTER: What are those?
ME: Yeah, how about new earphones?
SISTER: Nah.
ME: Well, I'm out of ideas.
SISTER: ...
ME: ...
SISTER: ... do they have a gum section?
ME: They have a soda section.
SISTER: Done.

Conclusion: We spent all $25 on candy, energy drinks, and gum. LIKE A BOSS.


Speaking of food, today I have consumed a donut, a box of Milk Duds, and one can of Coke Zero.

First day of class? Challenge accepted.
zfreelance: (Shadow Monster)
Holy shit, I live.

RA training is kind of like going to the dentist. No one wants to be there, but it's probably a good idea to suffer through it, if only for the benefits in the long run.

That said, I had fun, but I am thoroughly sick of most of humanity by way of over-exposure. I spent all of today laying on my bed with a bowl of Snicker's ice cream in one hand and my spiffy Nook in the other.

And. I. Did. Nothing. Else.

It was glorious.

Tomorrow, I'll probably get drunk.


Classes on Monday. Dragon*Con in something like two weeks, holy shitkfjvgnsdfbklvjdoh.

Costume is, like 50% done. Let's see if I can pull this off...
zfreelance: (YAY)
There comes a time in the course of a night when the summer sun is just barely turning the sky light and the dewpoint has come and gone again. When the day is just starting to get underway and the world is seriously considering getting up to make something of it.

There comes that time when the girl who is watching the sunrise (with a Diet Coke in one hand and a menthol in the other) realizes that class is in less than four hours and she has yet to sleep or finish the lab report due that day; and she thinks to herself -- "Fuck this for a lark" -- and pulls out the rum.

That time is now. That day is today.
zfreelance: (Peace!)
Not dead, just working and video games.

Also, happy Friday the 13th! The dorm I'm living in looks and feels like something out of The Shining, especially at night. Luckily, though, we're currently chock full 'o cheerleaders, so hopefully the psycho revenant in the woods will start picking them off first and then work its way up to the staff.

Here's hoping, anyway.
zfreelance: (Tonight: YOU)
Dear Residents,

GET OUT OF MY LIFE.

Love,
Z
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (Science!)
Chem II Lab can go and die, 's all I'm sayin.
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (Default)
I went to a physical therapy presentation yesterday, which translates into "sales pitch for USF". It was educational and interesting, but I still hated it.

I do not like sales pitches for 'elite schools', or schools of any kind, simply because they're an exercise in intimidation. They want you to look awesome on paper so the school can get a pretty, pretty feather in its cap when you graduate. While I can understand the desire for acceptable risk when accepting applicants, I do not appreciate the implication that I am not going to succeed anywhere, at all, unless I prove myself to be worthy of their attention. I am perhaps oversensitive to criticism, but having someone imply that I am not doing enough for them puts my back up in a big way.

This bothered me a lot in high school, when we'd be herded into the auditorium to hear local schools preach about their wonderful programs and elite scholastics and even more elite average GPA of accepted applicants. I only saw the upper side of the scale and became absolutely terrified of college, because I was an okay students, but I didn't live and breathe my studies. The implication was that little, lackadaisical people like me? Need not apply.

Well, I'm laughing in the face of that message, succeeding where so many of my more studious peers did not, but here again comes the parade of intimidation tactics and one-sided cautionary tales. People only talk about the best and the brightest or the ones who should have known better than to even bother. They stress the competition, the 'rewarding challenges' of their curriculum, the exclusivity of their student selection. No one wants to talk about the solid, stoic middle ground where you get by with no real accolades, but no real problems, either.

I called my father that night, not in a panic, but upset, nonetheless. I asked him, "How the hell did you stay motivated with all that bearing down on you?"

He said two things that I hope I never forget:

He asked me, "Well, you have a choice right now. Is this something you want to do?"
I told him yes, that this is something I was very interested in and wanted to explore further.
He said, "Okay. Now, here's my question. Do you want to be told what to do, or do you want to be the boss?"
"I don't understand."
"There are two paths, here, and they're both important. Physical therapy assistants are-"
And I cut him off, saying, "Dad. Give me a little credit. There is no way in hell that I am going to go through grad school to become somebody's assistant."
And he then told me, "That's your answer."

A professor once told him, while he was in med school, that you either are a doctor, or you aren't. And that's all there is to it. And while I am not a physician, I do believe that I have it in me to be a physical therapist. Because I will sooner quit school forever than become someone's assistant. And I mean that.

The second thing he told me was pretty awesome, too. He told me, "Yeah, their average accepted student has a 3.7. But there's 50% of students that have a GPA lower than 3.7. And you know what they call them?"
"What?"
"Physical therapists."

I love my dad.
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (Suck My Dick)
No, actually, I give up. Dragon*Con was awesome. The End.

JESUS I SUCK AT THIS.


MY LIFE, LETS DISCUSS M'KAY.

Got a horrible, horrible case of food poisoning on Monday night, am still a little shaky and weak. Does not help that I ate half a large pizza and chugged a beer but its been That Kind Of Week, so my stomach can shut up and deal.

A pipe in my building's AC unit burst sometime last night. I got a knock on the door at 5AM from a resident who was coming in for the night and noticed water gushing out of the ceiling of our outdoor laundry room. Water was also coming into four separate bedrooms, including mine. I was like, "Fuck."

Long story short, AC busted until 'further notice', fans set to turbo, wet vacs, brb building an ark.

Feeling a little overwhelmed with my schedule, school, money, and parents putting pressure on me to come home more often. They've seen me more than ever, thanks to my car, but because of my sister attending school with me and the fact that I do have a car, they seem to want this to translate into Z the I10 Ping Pong Ball.

I can have a job that will give me the money to come home on occasion. Or I can just mooch money and come home all the time. There cannot be both. Not to mention that I can't stand home for any length of time.

I've come to the conclusion that I cannot work as hard as I do and save as much money as I need to in order to afford my new computer by Black Friday. Because I will go crazy, otherwise.
So. I gave up a few of my hours so I have not one, but two days off a week! O the humanity.


Ugh. This week sucked, and next week isn't looking to be much better and I'm still tired and sick. So, yeah. Zydrate time.





EDIT: and then [livejournal.com profile] nrrrdy_grrrl had to go and ruin my sulk by cluing me into the fact that Hulu has every Highlander episode posted.

Yeah, can't hear you over the sound of the soul-shattering gay that is the Double Quickening.

i know what i'm doing this weekend
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (Never love a Wild Thing)
So, I am now a rebel with a cause.

God knows, I'm stubborn enough to shoot off my own nose if someone tells me not to, and I've bitten bullets in the past in the name of my own pride. But this time I'm actually acting the in the interests of others, as well as myself.

The school where I work has done two things that piss off the employees to no end. They a) haven't hired enough people, effectively chaining us to the job and b) have enacted a new rule stating that we are not to go off campus with residents (see: our friends) without prior approval, for liability reasons.

Housing has always been criminally stupid, but with these two particular issues, they put in jeopardy the RAs as a staff, as students, and as sane human beings.

So, I'm launching two separate campaigns. My first act is to send a letter, from the RAs as a whole, detailing why these things need to change. Hopefully I won't have to nail it to the church door, but I'm willing to do what is necessary to make The Powers That Be take this seriously. I'm being respectful about it and, as the letter is 'anonymous', I'm hopefully not putting my job on the line. But I have heard the same story from every residence hall. We need more employees, and this new policy is fucking stupid. Somebody needs to shove Housing's face in it, or nothing will ever change.

My second campaign is a bit more petty. If they want an e-mail every time I go off campus with residents, by God, they are going to get it. If I drive with my sister to the mall, they're getting an e-mail. If my friends and I go to Sonic for dinner, they're getting an e-mail. If I lean over the campus border with a resident in my general vicinity, they are getting a motherfucking e-mail. I don't give a damn if they give me 'confirmation'. I'm not limiting my personal activities on my own time because Housing thinks I should take my job with me, everywhere I go.

To tell the truth, the letter makes me a little nervous, but, as I have learned from past experiences with rocking the boat, once you get things started, the best thing you can do is own that shit, for better or for worse.

So here's Martin Luther, Socrates, Lucifer, and all those other rebels who think the status quo sucks balls. Because even if they burn you at the stake, they'll at least know your name.
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (Epic Shit)
I cannot wait for school to start so I can get some sleep.
I don't think that's how it should work...

Also, I got that job, after all! Turns out that the moron who pissed me off so badly got too downsize-happy and pretty much every residence hall ended up needing more people. So, I'm working 20 hours, mostly weekends, and am glad of it. MONEY IS AWESOME.

so tired...
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (Witch)
God fucking dammit, Housing. You're starting the bullshit early this year, aren't you?

I applied for a second job as an SA that coincides with my current RA job to subsidize my income because, btw? RAing doesn't pay for shit. I'm highly qualified, I have a history of working for the University, and I thought I did very well on the phone interview. I was told that I would receive an e-mail letting me know if I got the job, one way or another.

Cut to two weeks later with absolutely no word. Finally, I go to the Housing office to ask if those foretold e-mails were ever coming.

And the bitch-whore of the Housing Department leans out of her office with a smile and says that they selected people based on where they were living on campus and I had the bad luck of living in an area with a high concentration of RAs and thus a low concentration of SAs, and they've already made their selections. So, sorry!

I know at least five other people as qualified as I am who applied and apparently have not been hired, because no news is bad news.

I am furious right now, not so much because I didn't get the job, but because this woman didn't think it important to tell us that we were just not what they were looking for, so sorry.

I hate working for Housing. The bureaucracy is utter bullshit and the communication is even worse. And, yes, I really wanted that job.

So, now I'm going to have to go off campus to find work.

And this bitch needs to die.

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