...

Oct. 4th, 2012 07:35 pm
zfreelance: (Watch the World Burn)
In the time I have attended my university, we have had:

- A rapist who would pose as a plainclothes police officer and molest the women he pulled over
- A suspected murderer running around in the woods
- A series of missing/suicidal people who were suspected to have ended up in the woods
- Some sort of secret society/cult have weird-ass rituals in the nature preserve behind campus, who then later vandalized campus to advertise their "secret" society
- A storage locker that was found to have been full of human organs (like human hearts being kept in Polar Ice cups full of formaldehyde)
- And now they may have found human bones on our nature trail

I'm almost positive that my school has been built on the Hellmouth.
zfreelance: (Meanwhile)
The CDC has released an Emergency Preparedness and Response guide for the zombie apocalypse.

Guys, this is like a real-life Frindle! And also, THE BEST THING EVER.

...

Oct. 12th, 2010 12:03 am
zfreelance: (BEAR HUG)
SYFY CHANNEL IS SHOWING YAMI NO MATSUEI.

I HAVE NOT SEEN THIS SHOW IN YEARS AND I FLIP ON THE TELEVISION AND BAM, MURAKI IS MOLESTING EVERYTHING IN HIS PATH ON MY TELEVISION SET.

WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN


LATE NIGHT TV, NEVER CHANGE

\O/
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (Omnomnom)
I think Papa Johns is lacing their pizza with cocaine.

I ate it for dinner, last night, and woke up with a headache and an inky black tongue.

I was like, "What the FAAAAAAAAACK IS THAT."

Anyway. Went to class, feeling like hell. Made it back, ate some left over pizza for breakfast. And now my headache and general bad mood has evaporated.

I'm on to you, Papa Johns.
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (Not Today!)
So I went to a friend's house last night, because his parents were out of town and a 21 year old friend of ours was cruising through town.

Nothing crazy occurred. We mostly sat around and watched Smash Lab. Without any problems, we all found places to sleep through the night, all of us alone. It was fun.

In the morning, we all kind of rose around the same time. We sat around, talking about nothing and bitching about the cold.

Suddenly, our host came skidding into the room, telling us that his dad had just called to tell him that his friend was on his way over, eta 5 minutes, and our cars couldn't be seen.

Without a word, we were off the couches, grabbing our belongings and shoes and running for the door. We were zooming away in less than a minute, from couch to car.

This is actually something I've noticed with my group of friends, when we were a lot younger. We all seem to have an innate ability to clear out of a particular space, leaving no trace of our presence, in a few minutes. Even the new additions to our group have this same inclination.

This is obviously a survival trait, as it is very useful when you're running late for school/work/etc. But I can't help but wonder about us. We're collectively furtive.

Probably because we're preparing for the zombie apocalypse.
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (Coffee)
It occurs to me how early I've been going to bed.

ITS THE WEEKEND, BITCH. DRINK SOME MUTHAFUCKIN CAFFEINE AND DO SOME SHIT! LIKE ZOMBIELAND. JUST SAYIN.
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (This American Life)
My weekend so far:

- Party!
- Cake
- Pizza
- Dancing
- Dislocating my left thumb
- Not enough sleep
- Law and Order
- Wristcutters
- More cake

Awesome, y/y?
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (::facepalm::)
So, I'm doing laundry. Hold the applause.

Our dorms, cira 1969, have gotten new washers and dryers, which we were all excited about. The doors lock and everything. Heady stuff for broke college kids.

So, I put in my clothes and walk away. The door's locked, my clothes are safe.
I come back and the washer is still running. But my clothes are not in there.

I stare at the machine in incomprehension. The doors are still locked. Did Maintenance somehow break in to steal my clothes because I overloaded the washer, or something? What the hell?

By now, I'm shaking with rage at the thought of some authority figure taking my things without warning. I've been extremely sensitive about such things ever since France, and someone doing something like this to me pushes buttons we would all be happier leaving un-pushed.

I go to the RA, who is as baffled as I am. She tried to contact my residential RA and the Housing manager, whom she cannot reach. She tells me that I can come back later, and expresses her sympathy.

Still confused, I walk back to my room, past the machines. My clothes are there.

These are front-loading washers, something we are far from accustomed to. My clothes must have been pressed to the edges of the machine as it spun, and I somehow did not see them.

Feeling like an idiot, I go back to the RA to tell her what went down, who laughed with me and promised not to tell.

I feel extremely relieved and extremely foolish. But at least my clothes are clean.
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (Urban Tongue)
Add 'computer' to the list of sentient objects in my dorm room. Its decided that I will listen to what it wants me to listen to, and I'm not allowed to skip over certain songs on my media player.

I feel outnumbered.

Saturdayz

Sep. 19th, 2009 10:32 am
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (Default)
O, Mike. Ur my sekrit boyfriend. Never leave me, k?

On a related note, I'm chilling in Destin for the weekend, pulling some shenanigans and having a good time, all while trying to get some studying done for my two tests next Monday. :(

My little brother got a Facebook yesterday, which weirded me right out, but it's still cool to be able to talk to him. I miss my brother...

Normally I would stay at home, having to study and all, but for now, home (meaning my dorm) is not the refuge it once was.
Sometime in the week, our AC went "Ppth." I spent Thursday night in the dorm, and it felt like a sauna.

On top of that, someone has taken it upon themselves to scare the shit out of me in the night, popping open their doors and slamming them closed. At 4:30AM. Over and over again. I fell asleep in a tense little ball, clutching my knife because it made me feel better. I would have called the cops, but I'm still cellphone-less and I couldn't remember the number for the campus cops. (And no, smartass, it's not 911. That connects me to the county police, who would then have to connect me to the campus police.)


Anywho. Study time! Yay!

Hmm.

Sep. 18th, 2009 12:10 am
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (I'M COMIN' 4 U)
Also, I think my Brookstone wobble clock has gained sentience. It's turning off it's own alarm on the weekends.

Not sure how I feel about that.

Awkward

Aug. 23rd, 2009 01:35 pm
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (8()
So, I was sitting around, looking up Zero Punctuation icons. One of my friends asks me what the hell it was, so I demonstrated. He settled in to watch ZP videos with me. His roommate arrives to do the same. His roommate's boyfriend arrives and does the same thing. The guy from downstairs arrives to do the same thing. My roommate steps out to go pick up books at her place, about 45 minutes away. I'm good with this, as testosterone-fest are not at all strange to me.

Then, suddenly, every guy in the place, save the dude from downstairs who's name I cannot remember, gets up to run off to Target and Game Stop. All at once.

Leaving me, a 20-something chick with weird glasses, and Downstairs Guy, someone even deeper into their 20-somethings who doesn't seem to know how to speak to girls who enjoy video games, to sit next to one another, both trying to not make eye contact for fear of notching up the awkward levels into something just hilarious.

Thankfully, before I burst out laughing at us both, he trailed downstairs, saying something about Mario Kart. I cracked open a Coke and waved.

... wow.

New hair

Aug. 8th, 2009 02:07 pm
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (Something Completely Different)
I might have an addiction to hair color.

Anyway, my new color is not all that different from what I had (faded pink). Only now the pink is tempered to red and my roots are a strange blondish red.
My mother said to me, "Great, now when your hair grows in, you'll have three colors."
I'm like, "Cool!"

LOLZ

Aug. 3rd, 2009 01:25 am
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (::snerk::)
So my sister is watching Merlin. I rejoice.

She turns to me.

"You know," she says. "With the dragon going on about how Merlin and Arthur are only 'one half of a whole' and 'one side of the same coin', all I can think is, How much slash is there about this?"

I glance up from my page full of Merlin/Arthur AU slash and just look at her.

"There's no way of knowing," I reply.

ORLY?

Jul. 24th, 2009 08:30 pm
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (Orly)
Fact: I cannot wait until I'm legal to drink, because I need a beer something fierce.

Another Fact: My mother just bought 20 cans of Amp for $2.10
How?

She's magic!

No, really, okay. At Kroger right now they're offering a deal where if you buy 10 Amp, you get a $10 dollar gift card. AND, also at Kroger, Amp is listed as one of many items that you can buy ten of for a grand total of, you guessed it, $10!
So, if you do the math, you're paying $10 up front for 10 Amp, an awesome deal, regardless. Then you get the gift card. And then you can go back for ten MORE Amp, which are now paid for! All you pay is tax. And THEN you get ANOTHER coupon for ANOTHER $10 gift card.

Repeat process.

In the end, you can buy the store out of Amp in less than an hour. For the price of tax. And then you have this nifty gift card to play with, to get the OTHER essentials. Like Cheetos. Or tampons.

::rock hand::
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (Relentlessly Awesome)
THERE IS REAL, HONEST-TO-GOD SUPERNATURAL LARP.

LIKE, FOR SERIOUS.

GIVES IT TO MEEEEE. ::grabby hands::

On a less awesome note, Pandora! Get your head out of your ass. You have more than five songs, I promise you!
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (Tea and Attitude)
So, life continues to throw curveballs that no one sees coming (and some that you totally do).

The Army boy's dad got hit on his Harley by an SUV. He survived, even if the bike didn't.
People are breaking up, crying, confessing, and just generally being kids all over the place.
I am still sick, but I'm well enough that I am quietly going crazy.

And then there's porn.

I don't feel ashamed about watching/reading porn. It's like masturbation. 95% of the population does it, and the other 5% is lying. It's fun, it's hot, and it's not just for guys, sry2say, despite what certain journalists seem to think.

In fact, they make porn for girls! No, really!

Fess up, folks! You like it, too!

And on that note, I share! )

So, the moral of this story is, no matter what the drama/trauma the day may give, there is always porn. And cold meds. Urgh.

ALSO: So, I'm watching porn, which is focused on early-morning sexing (\o/) and the boys are wearing Calvin Kline tighty whiteys and all I can think is, "Oh hai product placement, hai!"
::facepalm:: XD
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (Shenanigans)
Happy Birthday Madre! Thanks for not drowning me at birth (even if you really should have) and being generally awesome.

After watching Ladyhawke, my sister looked up from her AP Lit essay.

Sister: "I'm writing about the most profound intellectual experience of my life."
Me: "Which is?"
Sister: "The day I discovered that the earth was, in fact, flat."
Me: "Uh..."
Sister: "It says, 'So, you might ask, if the earth is flat, how come we haven't heard about people finding the edge and falling off? The fact is, you wouldn't hear about them falling off the edge. Everything you thought to be true is a lie, and everything you thought was a lie is true, because the truth is a lie. So, what is truth?'"
Me: "Cake?"

Makes sense to me.

Happy Birthday, again, Madre!

PAR-TAY

Jun. 14th, 2009 10:56 am
zfreelance: (<lj site="livejournal.com"  user="timepunching">) (Fact: I Rule)
So the Army Boy threw a party last night, to which I was privy.

We ate, we drank, we wrote on each other in black-light fabric paint, we danced, we swam, we gossiped, and we scribbled all OVER the dick who passed out drunk on the Army Boy's bed.

My contributions were: "I LOVE THE COCK" and "SKULL FUCK ME PLZ". And maybe a few penises on his feet.

Maybe.

Needless to say, a good time was had by all save the guy who's wife had to come get him at three AM, only to find him looking like an obscene Doodle Bear.

Shame. I'm sure I'll find some, or maybe borrow some, or something.

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