put your shirt back on

Brace yourself, America. We're pulling out all the stops for this one.

I have come to a realization. And that realization is: It is never too early to start drinking wine right out of the bottle.

Update: I have been drinking since 11AM. Today has been very productive.

Dear NaNoWriMo,

I would love to one day achieve the greatness that is 50,000 words in one month.

However. You really should not scheduale that month to coincide with the release of Skyrim. BECAUSE THAT SHIT EATS YOUR LIFE, YOUR SOUL, AND EVEN THE LINT IN YOUR POCKETS.

Not to mention Beta Testing Weekends for The Old Republic.

Your timing could be better, is what I'm saying.

Maybe next year,
Z

I owe some dark deity one hell of a cup of tea. I woke up this morning and realized that, not only did I have a test in 30 minutes, but I had a presentation due, as well.

Cue the panicked flailing.

Luckily, I had a written report already on my hard drive that suited my purposes, so I spent 20 minutes transposing from Word to Powerpoint, threw on some clothes, and cram-studied all the way to class.

I don't know how I did on the test (my guess: not that awesome) but my teacher complimented my presentation, and I have no fucking idea how I pulled that shit off, other than deus ex machina. So, there will be tea. LOTS OF TEA.

I should have been an English major. My bullshit skills are wasted here.

My life at the moment:

- Dodging residents and their problems, because I haven't the fucking time or the patience
- Swamped with one damn project after another
- Counting the days till I can turn off my phone and peace out for three uninterrupted days of turkey and free laundry
- Counting down the days until this fucking semester is over
- Wasting my life and/or free time playing the crack cocaine that is Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Sweet Jesus, that game is a sickness. Save yourselves.
- Getting accidentally married in said Skyrim. Yeah, idk.
- Rug burn
- That niggling feeling in the back of your skull that says that you're forgetting to do something, but you just can't figure out what it is.
- Fucking residents need to put on their big girl panties and deal. with. it.
- Had a cool story idea for the first time in... yeeeeah, cue the shame.


ANYWAY.

down to gehenna by sutlers
Fandom: X-Men: First Class (film), Silent Hill (game)
Pairing: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Summary: Welcome back to Silent Hill, Erik Lehnsherr, we hope you enjoy your stay.

...auuuuuuugh

Must Be All That Biking by friskaz
Fandom: Suits
Pairing: Mike Ross/Harvey Specter
Summary: Cross dressing porn, because it's practically canon. Originally called "soft features" when posted on the kink meme.


Boys in dresses = die-hard kink. I have come to terms with this.

and someday soon by stardustcities
Fandom: X-Men: First Class RPS
Pairing: Michael Fassbender/James McAvoy
Summary: AU. James needs a job. Michael Fassbender is the devilishly handsome new lawyer in town. James happens to have a semester of law school under his belt. Michael hires James as his new Starbucks bitch. There is sexual tension.

And what a sassy Starbucks bitch he is. ::loves::

Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain says, "Don't blame Wall Street, don't blame the big banks, if you don't have a job and you're not rich, blame yourself!"

And that is a fucking quote.

Apparently, 99% of Americans can be wrong. Because it's our fault that we can't send our children to school because they are overcrowded and falling apart. It's our fault that we have to get a mortgage to buy a home and take out a loan to get an education that won't get us a job, anyway. It's our fault that we face down superflus and incurable diseases without the faintest hope of being able to afford health insurance. Unending wars and corrupt corporations and a total failure of our government to take the steps necessary to preserve even the most basic of human needs couldn't have anything to do with it.

You're absolutely right. Our bad.



Dear GOP,

Eat all the dicks.

Love,
The 99%


BUT!
Glenn Beck is running scared from Occupy Wall Street, which just warms the cockles of my anarchistic little heart.

Conversation I had with my little sister and a gas station attendant.

ME: You want a soda?
SISTER: I am insulted that this is even a question.
ATTENDANT: That'll be $3.95.
SISTER: ::looking at the counter:: Is that a lighter with Bob Marley on it?
ATTENDANT: Sure is. ::holds it up::
SISTER: That is so cool!
ATTENDANT: What's even cooler is, if you light it and hold it upside down, it changes colors. ::demonstrates::
ME: Neat. Though, I can't imagine why anyone would hold a Bob Marley lighter upside-down.
ATTENDANT: Oh, me neither.
SISTER: Huh?
ATTENDANT: ... really?
ME: THANK YOU HAVE A NICE NIGHT


In my sister's defense, she's really only knows Bob Marley for his music.