religion's just a synthetic referee

[zfreelance]

I was not abducted by Jesus. Can't say I'm upset, 'cause I was asleep for most of Judgment Day, and waking up with Jesus seems like it would feel like the start of the worst acid trip, ever.

However, I can't help but be kind of excited for any Rapture that may occur in the future, because after everything's died down, I could hit the town and score myself a really nice car. And maybe a flat screen.

I think this makes me a bad person.