In which I swear off kettle corn foreverz

[zfreelance]

So I was sittin', right? Eatin' my kettle corn, watching The Terminator. Not hurtin' anybody.

And the a tiny little triangle of kernel gets lodged in the soft tissue right in the back of mo throat, where I can feel it cut into my tongue and scrape every time I swallow.

For those of you who've never had an occasion in which to stick your finger down the back of your throat, here's what happens. You throw up. And that soft tissue? Bleeds if you poke it with pointy objects like a fingernail, toothpick, pointy hair comb, or tweezers.

So I got to spend about twenty minutes bent over my bathroom sink, scraping at the back of my throat with everything I could think of to get rid of that little kernel, waving a flashlight around to try and see what I was doing, eyes tearing up all over the place, hacking and choking up blood.

I got the fucker, finally. But after all of that? A sinus infection doesn't seem all that bad.

Comments

Stranger

[(Anonymous)]

Ouch. That sounds like a very epic and hurtful battle with kettle corn in which you did not come out of unscathed. Well hang in there Z. Continue to have those interesting adventures!

Sincerely,
Stranger
P.S. By interesting adventure I do NOT mean the stuff like the kettle corn battle. That stuff just sucks.

reminds me

[tori5553.livejournal.com]

ok so sorry about your trouble and stuff but i don't have that reflex in the back of your throat so i don't have that issue but anyway i just watch shoot em up yo have to watch it...two words KILLER CARROTS!!!... and clive owens

Re: reminds me

[zfreelance.livejournal.com]

I'VE SEEN THAT ONE AND IT IS EPIC.

Not once, but something like THREE TIMES. DEATH BY CARROT.