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Hi, guys. Ignore this next post.
Yeah, now that this is all nice and INCONSPICUOUS, GAWD, let the navel-gazing commence!
Today's subject is, of course, me. The time in which we return to is THE TEEN YEARS.
Yah, I'm all of a year past them, and I'm already looking back, going, "Omg, really?"
The thing that caused this bout of retrospect is anime.
SCENE ONE
Age 13
Me: A abnormally small, rather bizarre youngster. I'd had yet to hit my growth spurt, and I wouldn't reach puberty for another year. At this point, I had very few social skills and was very much a loner. I spent most of my time by myself, reading at every opportunity. I was probably very abrasive to the few people I talked to.
What Happened: I got a call to a girl's slumber party. It was completely out of the blue, and today I think it was probably a dare or something. Regardless. I went to my first slumber party, ever, where I met the girls who would be my friends until well into high school.
Who: They were cool, smart, and funny, and I had absolutely no idea as to why they wanted to hang out with me. But I went for it.
One of the girls brought her anime collection.
We, as a group, only knew about anime from Sailor Moon and Dragonball Z, so we were shocked to find something beyond Cartoon Network.
We stayed up all night and watched Bubblegum Crisis, Magic Knight Rayearth, and Rurouni Kenshin. And from then on, we were hooked. Also, they couldn't have gotten rid of me if they tried.
SCENE TWO
The Anime Exposition
Why: Anime wasn't big, then. I know it's hard to imagine, but there was a time when a bookstore's manga section was only half of a bookshelf, hidden in the back of the store. It didn't move much beyond Japan, and people my age did not use the internet. We still played Ocarina of Time on N64s, okay? These are old school years I'm talking about.
So, imagine yourself, a social reject all your life, finding a secret world that had been created by people just like you. Hell, it was for people just like me. It was a shock, I will not lie. But it was addicting. Not only were the shows far more convoluted and in-depth than anything America had to offer at the time (with the possible exception of Gargoyles), no one knew about them! All of a sudden, you had exclusivity and access that no one else in your school could boast. You were a cool kid!
Okay, not really. I was a nerd. Still am. But the fact remained that I found safety and happiness in numbers. The social rejects were organizing!
SCENE THREE
Age 15
Me: By now, puberty has hit with a vengeance, giving me curves that I had no idea what to do with. I'd always been strong for my size, so any interaction with boys had been of the physically violent kind. So imagine my surprise when people started assuming that I knew what the hell people were talking about, when they asked if I 'liked' someone. Social reject, remember?
By now, I know how to talk to people in a civil tone, even if I still get into fights with the particularly bitchy brats who attended school with me. This is because I have a group.
The group has expanded to include the male sex. All of us are rejects in one way or another, not capable or just unwilling to fit in with the socially acceptable crowds. We were weird, and we were proud of it. And something even more magical was happening. We were discovering that we did not give a damn what other people thought or said about us.
Anime: By now, I am deep in the anime/manga subculture. The entire movement is starting to pick up steam, bringing greater availability with it. Revolutionary Girl Utena, Samurai X, Angel Sanctuary, FAKE, Yami No Matsuei... If I could get my hands on it, I was watching it.
(Also, around this time, I discovered an AMAZING invention known as yaoi. I actually stumbled upon it by accident, while looking up Gundam Wing het fanfiction. But THAT is a story for another day.)
SCENE FOUR
Age 16
Me: By now I've made some personal changes. Puberty has shut the fuck up, allowing me to lose some weight, and I've made some other physical changes. I've cut off all my hair and started wearing colors other than black.
My personality is still in the works, however. While my social circle has expanded to other arts, such as band and drama kids, there was still very much an us-vs-them attitude to high school. As a result, I am still a very abrasive individual to those I do not like.
High school is interesting. You're thrown back into the mix with people who know you only as the kid you once were, and vice versa. Old hostilities remain until proven otherwise, and mine were not going to change any time soon.
No one was giving anyone the benefit of the doubt.
Anime: By now, anime is huge. Other outsiders like myself have begun finding acceptance and comfort in it. But by now, my obsession (and it WAS an obsession) has slowed. I no longer need it as a social enabler. I've gained the ability to talk to those who do not partake in anime and find things in common with them, anyway.
SCENE FIVE
Age 17
Me: It wasn't until after graduation that I realized that my friends and I had become slightly infamous. I was notorious for past run-ins with school administrators and the law, and my friends were no better. For lack of a better term, we were troublemakers.
And something strange began to happen. The 'preps' whom I hated so vehemently started to show what I first thought of as weakness. They were nice to me. Suspicious, I brushed it off. It's only now that I realize that what probably happened is that the other kids outside of my group became slightly afraid of me. Columbine and the Virginia Tech shootings had already happened, and everyone was suddenly aware that those kids they treated like crap were very, very angry.
I was no longer an angry child, looking to lash out. And neither was I an affection-starved kid, looking for a single scrap of kindness. I had grown beyond those people, and so I could only look at them with bewildered pity. Who did they think they were kidding?
Anime: By now, anime has fallen to the wayside. I'd shifted attention to school work (I know, right?), friends, college, and my impending year in France. I didn't need it as an escape, and I had other things to keep me occupied.
I'd like to think that I left it to those who came after me. A legacy.
(I even gave my extensive manga collection to my little sister)
FAST FORWARD THREE YEARS
Me: A lot happens in three years. Most of it has been recorded here, at one point or another.
Nowadays, I'm a focused student (despite my bitching), and I am very serious about my goals. Financial worries dominate a lot of my time, as I'm becoming more and more independent. I've lost friends, gained others, and still argue heartily with those who have stuck with me through the years. We're all way different from who we used to be, and we all have a lot of growing to do. But we're getting there.
And where does anime come into all of this?
Well, right now, it's a pleasant memory. I'm out of the loop for a lot of the modern stuff, and I'm mostly content to stay that way. But recently I've been skimming through some of my old pursuits and I've been pleasantly surprised to find that it's all still quite good. I've found some of the old music I listened to (Initial D, .hack, etc.) and every now and then it pops up on my playlist, making me laugh. I'm getting back into drawing, something else that fell to the wayside, and I'm trying some of this new-fangled manga on for size.
Slowly, oh so slowly, I'm trying to maybe get back into my anime stride. Because I'm old enough to make wearing an X/1999 shirt look pretty damn sexy. XD
Bye, guys!
Yeah, now that this is all nice and INCONSPICUOUS, GAWD, let the navel-gazing commence!
Today's subject is, of course, me. The time in which we return to is THE TEEN YEARS.
Yah, I'm all of a year past them, and I'm already looking back, going, "Omg, really?"
The thing that caused this bout of retrospect is anime.
SCENE ONE
Age 13
Me: A abnormally small, rather bizarre youngster. I'd had yet to hit my growth spurt, and I wouldn't reach puberty for another year. At this point, I had very few social skills and was very much a loner. I spent most of my time by myself, reading at every opportunity. I was probably very abrasive to the few people I talked to.
What Happened: I got a call to a girl's slumber party. It was completely out of the blue, and today I think it was probably a dare or something. Regardless. I went to my first slumber party, ever, where I met the girls who would be my friends until well into high school.
Who: They were cool, smart, and funny, and I had absolutely no idea as to why they wanted to hang out with me. But I went for it.
One of the girls brought her anime collection.
We, as a group, only knew about anime from Sailor Moon and Dragonball Z, so we were shocked to find something beyond Cartoon Network.
We stayed up all night and watched Bubblegum Crisis, Magic Knight Rayearth, and Rurouni Kenshin. And from then on, we were hooked. Also, they couldn't have gotten rid of me if they tried.
SCENE TWO
The Anime Exposition
Why: Anime wasn't big, then. I know it's hard to imagine, but there was a time when a bookstore's manga section was only half of a bookshelf, hidden in the back of the store. It didn't move much beyond Japan, and people my age did not use the internet. We still played Ocarina of Time on N64s, okay? These are old school years I'm talking about.
So, imagine yourself, a social reject all your life, finding a secret world that had been created by people just like you. Hell, it was for people just like me. It was a shock, I will not lie. But it was addicting. Not only were the shows far more convoluted and in-depth than anything America had to offer at the time (with the possible exception of Gargoyles), no one knew about them! All of a sudden, you had exclusivity and access that no one else in your school could boast. You were a cool kid!
Okay, not really. I was a nerd. Still am. But the fact remained that I found safety and happiness in numbers. The social rejects were organizing!
SCENE THREE
Age 15
Me: By now, puberty has hit with a vengeance, giving me curves that I had no idea what to do with. I'd always been strong for my size, so any interaction with boys had been of the physically violent kind. So imagine my surprise when people started assuming that I knew what the hell people were talking about, when they asked if I 'liked' someone. Social reject, remember?
By now, I know how to talk to people in a civil tone, even if I still get into fights with the particularly bitchy brats who attended school with me. This is because I have a group.
The group has expanded to include the male sex. All of us are rejects in one way or another, not capable or just unwilling to fit in with the socially acceptable crowds. We were weird, and we were proud of it. And something even more magical was happening. We were discovering that we did not give a damn what other people thought or said about us.
Anime: By now, I am deep in the anime/manga subculture. The entire movement is starting to pick up steam, bringing greater availability with it. Revolutionary Girl Utena, Samurai X, Angel Sanctuary, FAKE, Yami No Matsuei... If I could get my hands on it, I was watching it.
(Also, around this time, I discovered an AMAZING invention known as yaoi. I actually stumbled upon it by accident, while looking up Gundam Wing het fanfiction. But THAT is a story for another day.)
SCENE FOUR
Age 16
Me: By now I've made some personal changes. Puberty has shut the fuck up, allowing me to lose some weight, and I've made some other physical changes. I've cut off all my hair and started wearing colors other than black.
My personality is still in the works, however. While my social circle has expanded to other arts, such as band and drama kids, there was still very much an us-vs-them attitude to high school. As a result, I am still a very abrasive individual to those I do not like.
High school is interesting. You're thrown back into the mix with people who know you only as the kid you once were, and vice versa. Old hostilities remain until proven otherwise, and mine were not going to change any time soon.
No one was giving anyone the benefit of the doubt.
Anime: By now, anime is huge. Other outsiders like myself have begun finding acceptance and comfort in it. But by now, my obsession (and it WAS an obsession) has slowed. I no longer need it as a social enabler. I've gained the ability to talk to those who do not partake in anime and find things in common with them, anyway.
SCENE FIVE
Age 17
Me: It wasn't until after graduation that I realized that my friends and I had become slightly infamous. I was notorious for past run-ins with school administrators and the law, and my friends were no better. For lack of a better term, we were troublemakers.
And something strange began to happen. The 'preps' whom I hated so vehemently started to show what I first thought of as weakness. They were nice to me. Suspicious, I brushed it off. It's only now that I realize that what probably happened is that the other kids outside of my group became slightly afraid of me. Columbine and the Virginia Tech shootings had already happened, and everyone was suddenly aware that those kids they treated like crap were very, very angry.
I was no longer an angry child, looking to lash out. And neither was I an affection-starved kid, looking for a single scrap of kindness. I had grown beyond those people, and so I could only look at them with bewildered pity. Who did they think they were kidding?
Anime: By now, anime has fallen to the wayside. I'd shifted attention to school work (I know, right?), friends, college, and my impending year in France. I didn't need it as an escape, and I had other things to keep me occupied.
I'd like to think that I left it to those who came after me. A legacy.
(I even gave my extensive manga collection to my little sister)
FAST FORWARD THREE YEARS
Me: A lot happens in three years. Most of it has been recorded here, at one point or another.
Nowadays, I'm a focused student (despite my bitching), and I am very serious about my goals. Financial worries dominate a lot of my time, as I'm becoming more and more independent. I've lost friends, gained others, and still argue heartily with those who have stuck with me through the years. We're all way different from who we used to be, and we all have a lot of growing to do. But we're getting there.
And where does anime come into all of this?
Well, right now, it's a pleasant memory. I'm out of the loop for a lot of the modern stuff, and I'm mostly content to stay that way. But recently I've been skimming through some of my old pursuits and I've been pleasantly surprised to find that it's all still quite good. I've found some of the old music I listened to (Initial D, .hack, etc.) and every now and then it pops up on my playlist, making me laugh. I'm getting back into drawing, something else that fell to the wayside, and I'm trying some of this new-fangled manga on for size.
Slowly, oh so slowly, I'm trying to maybe get back into my anime stride. Because I'm old enough to make wearing an X/1999 shirt look pretty damn sexy. XD
Bye, guys!
