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I really need to get an MST3K icon... but it seems that no one remembers the 90's...
Oh, grunge, why have you forsaken us?
Speaking of grunge, lemme tell you a story.
Albertson's, the store in my town that managed to outlive and outlast Super-Walmarx, had at one time, a decent movie collection. But since the birth of NetFlix and other cheap alternatives to late fees and leaving your house, the popularity died off. And so, Albertson's had an epic movie blowout! Everything must go!
Cheap tapes and DVDs ftw, right?
There is a rub.
There is a man who works at Albertson's produce. For legal reasons, we shall call this man 'Creepy McCreeperson'. Creepy has been talking to yours truely every time he sees me. The topic of age came up. I was, at the time, 17. Jail bait. He is 32. Ew.
But Creepy persists to talk to said jail bait, taking physical liberties that normally would have him nursing a broken nose if it hadn't been in front of her mother. Not that I'm a violent, boasting person, I just don't like this guy. But short of throwing the nearest item at his head and running in the other direction, there is little more that I can do than smile and then run when Creepy isn't looking.
So, anyway, I'm looking through movies, on the other side of the store, and then get the bright idea to leave my defensive alcove and visit the bathroom. Horror Movie Survival 101: DO NOT DO THIS. Avoiding Your Creepy McCreeperson: DO NOT DO THIS.
Ran into Creeoy coming out of the bathroom. I was trapped. This guy strikes me as the kind to see my retreating back into the girls room an opportunity. So what did I do? Smiled and took off running? Friggin A.
ANYWAY. I got Hackers and The Crow: City of Angels tapes for less than $5. Bite me, tapes are this generation's records.(NOTE: I had to stop here for about an hour to pick up my little sister from the Harry Potter premiere. She and all her friends dressed up, sat for four hours to get good seats, got free Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans [They are not kidding. Vomit tastes of vomit. TRUST THEM ON THIS ONE.], played with the other geeks, and swore, laughed, and sobbed through the movie. I'll ruin the movie for you. GARY OLDMAN DIES A LOT.)(I just realized. Sirius Black is our Elvis Presley.)
So, on to the Reveiws.
Hackers
In a word, hot. This movie represents every anti-establishment, anarchist, underground grunge, and pure sex atom of my body. Angelina Jolie makes a sexy hacker, and to see (however breifly) a young Jonny Lee Miller in a red pleather dress is... auhhh.
The music is awesome, the photography is fun, the costumes made me cry out for the 90's, and it showed oh so many pretty pretty pictures of hot people drinking Jolt.
Oh, Jolt. Where art thou? Answer: Because of the fascist government, you are now underground even further than before. The holy grail of caffiene, if you will. Ordering it online is for sucks. To truely enjoy its... joys, you must find that bastard yourself. And then tell me where to get it, cause I'm having a craving over here like no other.
The Crow: City of Angels
I have seen The Crow. I have seen the third addition to the series, but not this one. I am constantly amazed at the creation of not one, but two sequals to a movie that killed the main character. Not to say that the third one was not a tribute to Brandon Lee.
(FUN FACT: The main character for the third movie, The Crow: Salvation, was Matt Addison in Resident Evil. And he was absolutely beyond cool.)
This one... eh.
I bought it on a whim, wanting to see it and not trusting the library to have it. I had heard the soundtrack before, and that was hot. Did the movie live up to the music, however? Depends.
The concept was a bit new. Father and son murder rather than boyfriend/girlfriend. But this time the crow enlisted a girl to help him. Who is this girl? Why, its Sarah, the punk kid from the first movie. Is she recognizable? Not through all of that red eye makeup. Her eyes look colorless against it. Do you make the connection? I didn't. I needed the Wikipedia crutch to figure it out. And who was the bad guy? Why, its Jubal Early, the bounty hunter, from Firefly! I spent the entire movie quarking after each of his lines, "Does that seem right to you?"
Anyway, enough about the support cast. Lets talk about The Crow. In this case his name is Ashe Corven, and he is played by Vincent Perez. Who is that? Queen of the Damned. Marius. Gaaaaaay. But sexy. And... Swedish? I had a hell of a time placing his accent throughout the movie, as it came and went between scences. But he had some great lines, and despite some questionable acting and plot (but that one isn't his fault) he pulled some great crazy faces. That, to me, is part of being The Crow. You're dead already. Fuck it. Go crazy!
Bu thats as far as the movie went. No great fight scences, really. Some explosions to the sound of White Zombie, the required sex and BDSM, and some weird ass eye makeup.
And its set in Los Angeles, not Detroit.
But from what my Lord Wikipedia tells me, my version was heavily edited, taking out some parts that would have A: Beefed up the movie and B: MADE SENSE. But getting workprint versions is a pain in the ass, so oh well.
More to come, to be sure.
Oh, grunge, why have you forsaken us?
Speaking of grunge, lemme tell you a story.
Albertson's, the store in my town that managed to outlive and outlast Super-Walmarx, had at one time, a decent movie collection. But since the birth of NetFlix and other cheap alternatives to late fees and leaving your house, the popularity died off. And so, Albertson's had an epic movie blowout! Everything must go!
Cheap tapes and DVDs ftw, right?
There is a rub.
There is a man who works at Albertson's produce. For legal reasons, we shall call this man 'Creepy McCreeperson'. Creepy has been talking to yours truely every time he sees me. The topic of age came up. I was, at the time, 17. Jail bait. He is 32. Ew.
But Creepy persists to talk to said jail bait, taking physical liberties that normally would have him nursing a broken nose if it hadn't been in front of her mother. Not that I'm a violent, boasting person, I just don't like this guy. But short of throwing the nearest item at his head and running in the other direction, there is little more that I can do than smile and then run when Creepy isn't looking.
So, anyway, I'm looking through movies, on the other side of the store, and then get the bright idea to leave my defensive alcove and visit the bathroom. Horror Movie Survival 101: DO NOT DO THIS. Avoiding Your Creepy McCreeperson: DO NOT DO THIS.
Ran into Creeoy coming out of the bathroom. I was trapped. This guy strikes me as the kind to see my retreating back into the girls room an opportunity. So what did I do? Smiled and took off running? Friggin A.
ANYWAY. I got Hackers and The Crow: City of Angels tapes for less than $5. Bite me, tapes are this generation's records.(NOTE: I had to stop here for about an hour to pick up my little sister from the Harry Potter premiere. She and all her friends dressed up, sat for four hours to get good seats, got free Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans [They are not kidding. Vomit tastes of vomit. TRUST THEM ON THIS ONE.], played with the other geeks, and swore, laughed, and sobbed through the movie. I'll ruin the movie for you. GARY OLDMAN DIES A LOT.)(I just realized. Sirius Black is our Elvis Presley.)
So, on to the Reveiws.
Hackers
In a word, hot. This movie represents every anti-establishment, anarchist, underground grunge, and pure sex atom of my body. Angelina Jolie makes a sexy hacker, and to see (however breifly) a young Jonny Lee Miller in a red pleather dress is... auhhh.
The music is awesome, the photography is fun, the costumes made me cry out for the 90's, and it showed oh so many pretty pretty pictures of hot people drinking Jolt.
Oh, Jolt. Where art thou? Answer: Because of the fascist government, you are now underground even further than before. The holy grail of caffiene, if you will. Ordering it online is for sucks. To truely enjoy its... joys, you must find that bastard yourself. And then tell me where to get it, cause I'm having a craving over here like no other.
The Crow: City of Angels
I have seen The Crow. I have seen the third addition to the series, but not this one. I am constantly amazed at the creation of not one, but two sequals to a movie that killed the main character. Not to say that the third one was not a tribute to Brandon Lee.
(FUN FACT: The main character for the third movie, The Crow: Salvation, was Matt Addison in Resident Evil. And he was absolutely beyond cool.)
This one... eh.
I bought it on a whim, wanting to see it and not trusting the library to have it. I had heard the soundtrack before, and that was hot. Did the movie live up to the music, however? Depends.
The concept was a bit new. Father and son murder rather than boyfriend/girlfriend. But this time the crow enlisted a girl to help him. Who is this girl? Why, its Sarah, the punk kid from the first movie. Is she recognizable? Not through all of that red eye makeup. Her eyes look colorless against it. Do you make the connection? I didn't. I needed the Wikipedia crutch to figure it out. And who was the bad guy? Why, its Jubal Early, the bounty hunter, from Firefly! I spent the entire movie quarking after each of his lines, "Does that seem right to you?"
Anyway, enough about the support cast. Lets talk about The Crow. In this case his name is Ashe Corven, and he is played by Vincent Perez. Who is that? Queen of the Damned. Marius. Gaaaaaay. But sexy. And... Swedish? I had a hell of a time placing his accent throughout the movie, as it came and went between scences. But he had some great lines, and despite some questionable acting and plot (but that one isn't his fault) he pulled some great crazy faces. That, to me, is part of being The Crow. You're dead already. Fuck it. Go crazy!
Bu thats as far as the movie went. No great fight scences, really. Some explosions to the sound of White Zombie, the required sex and BDSM, and some weird ass eye makeup.
And its set in Los Angeles, not Detroit.
But from what my Lord Wikipedia tells me, my version was heavily edited, taking out some parts that would have A: Beefed up the movie and B: MADE SENSE. But getting workprint versions is a pain in the ass, so oh well.
More to come, to be sure.
