put your shirt back on

Actual conversation.

COWORKER: ::playing Pokemon Blue on his laptop::
ME: ::glancing over:: Is that... ? OMG POKEMON
COWORKER: Aw hell yeah it is.
ME: Awesome! But... are you seriously sending out Caterpie to battle Pidgey?
COWORKER: Yep.
ANOTHER COWORKER (henceforth referred to as CASSONI): He's leveling up for Brock's gym.
ME: Oh, to get Butterfree? Good call.
COWORKER: Yeah, and now I am sending out Squirtle...
ME: Squirtle's a bitch. Charmander was a complete bad-ass.
CASSONI: Uh, no? Squirtle would own Charmander's ass.
ME: Which is why I wouldn't use Charmander against Squirtle. I would invoke my Pokemon Yellow and use my Pikachu.
COWORKER: Pokemon Blue.
ME: Plus, Charmander can become Charizard and learn Dragon-type moves, and unless you want to spend your life training up a god damn Magikarp, you'll need that to defeat Lance's fucking Dragonites in the Elite Four.
CASSONI: Please. Blastoise, Hydro-Pump. Done.
ME: Uh, Zapdos. Thunder. Done.
COWORKER: Whoa, now.
CASSONI: Fine. Then I would use Raichu. Electric is weak against electric.
ME: Then I would pull out an Onyx or something, because Ground-type was pretty boss, too.
CASSONI: Then I would pull out a Gyarados and use Surf AND Dragon Rage!
ME: ... touche. What would you use to battle a Gyarados? Ice?
CASSONI: I don't know. Ice is pretty much like Water, isn't it?
ME: I don't know, they keep changing that shit.
CASSONI: But you want to know what they added that was awesome? Dark-type. One-hit KO for Ghost-types.
ME: Oh hell yes. That fucking Elite Four Gengar...
COWORKER: And I thought I was nerdy...

I would totally quit school to become a Pokemon trainer.


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That is all.