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pick your poison
May. 19th, 2011 05:01 pmThe CDC has released an Emergency Preparedness and Response guide for the zombie apocalypse.
Guys, this is like a real-life Frindle! And also, THE BEST THING EVER.
Guys, this is like a real-life Frindle! And also, THE BEST THING EVER.
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Last night I had a 28 Days Later kind of dream where the zombies buried themselves in the dirt to escape daylight, and I emerged from the dirt, myself, out in front of an old abandoned Winn Dixie, right before nightfall. Some twisted Caliban-looking guy was there to cackle madly at me, and I was having some kind of epiphany about zombies, like becoming one was the easy way or something. Because I could not run (as it is with all dreams) I grabbed a shopping cart and rode that like a scooter across the massive stadium-sized parking lot (which was properly creepy-looking, with those giant bowl light posts and cracked asphalt and crumpled newspapers) to an Eckards. Or maybe it was a Walgreens. Anyway, it had a handwritten sign that said, "Last Drug Store For 60 Miles!" and all its florescent lights were burning bright, like nothing bad was happening. Except that all of the windows were boarded over haphazardly, with only the door open to the public. I dove in with some chick I think I stole the cart from, and we hid in the fiction book section to look at the trashy romance books about modern cowboys, again as if nothing were happening.
I choose to take away from this the lesson that no matter what kind of apocalypse is 'coming' in 2012, trashy romance novels will live on. And on. And on.
I choose to take away from this the lesson that no matter what kind of apocalypse is 'coming' in 2012, trashy romance novels will live on. And on. And on.
Writer's Block: Be Prepared
Dec. 3rd, 2008 09:37 am[Error: unknown template qotd]I will address your concerns in the order that they were presented.
Earthquake: No. I have no plan for enduring an earthquake. In fact, I'm fairly sure that if I ever experienced an earthquake, my only reaction would be to run around, flailing my arms like a moron, screaming and gibbering like a little girl.
Hurricane: Pft. Bitch, puh-leez. I'm a Floridian. Hurricanes do not scare me. In the event, however, of a Camille or Katrina class storm churning my way, I would just pack my shit up and leave. Theres jack all you can do except hope that you don't get a Volvo through your front door. And if you can get some good puddle-stomping in on the way out, its almost worth it.
Zombies: I have dedicated a great deal of time and effort to planning for the zombie invasion, and after all this time, my thoughts on survival are this:
1) Survive the initial outbreak.
2) Arm myself with a simple, yet effective, if improvised item of combat, ie: shovel, aluminum bat, machete, etc.
3) If caught outside my home, make my way to a Walmart, Lowes, Home Depot, etc. for survival equipment. In other words, stage a raid.
4) Secure transportation.
5) Stupidly investigate the whereabouts of family and friends.
6) Not get zombie'd.
Any questions?
Earthquake: No. I have no plan for enduring an earthquake. In fact, I'm fairly sure that if I ever experienced an earthquake, my only reaction would be to run around, flailing my arms like a moron, screaming and gibbering like a little girl.
Hurricane: Pft. Bitch, puh-leez. I'm a Floridian. Hurricanes do not scare me. In the event, however, of a Camille or Katrina class storm churning my way, I would just pack my shit up and leave. Theres jack all you can do except hope that you don't get a Volvo through your front door. And if you can get some good puddle-stomping in on the way out, its almost worth it.
Zombies: I have dedicated a great deal of time and effort to planning for the zombie invasion, and after all this time, my thoughts on survival are this:
1) Survive the initial outbreak.
2) Arm myself with a simple, yet effective, if improvised item of combat, ie: shovel, aluminum bat, machete, etc.
3) If caught outside my home, make my way to a Walmart, Lowes, Home Depot, etc. for survival equipment. In other words, stage a raid.
4) Secure transportation.
5) Stupidly investigate the whereabouts of family and friends.
6) Not get zombie'd.
Any questions?
Writer's Block: The Undead
Oct. 27th, 2008 01:22 pm[Error: unknown template qotd]Probably not, seeing as the vast majority of your classic zombie examples actually die before they start eating people. There are some exceptions (28 Days Later) but they could also be argued to not really be zombies at all.
It was actually demonstrated most coherently in Land of the Dead, when a man who'd hanged himself became a zombie shortly afterwards, with no contact with another zombie beforehand or after.
So, no. If you are a zombie, you're not suffering. You're dead, and thus leaving the existential angst to the vampires and immortal Highlanders.
Ask me about my misspent youth.
It was actually demonstrated most coherently in Land of the Dead, when a man who'd hanged himself became a zombie shortly afterwards, with no contact with another zombie beforehand or after.
So, no. If you are a zombie, you're not suffering. You're dead, and thus leaving the existential angst to the vampires and immortal Highlanders.
Ask me about my misspent youth.
