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So, YouTube is good for many things.
Like watching The Blair Witch Project.
I remember when this came out nearly ten years ago (its been that long, guys). The big hype was if the film was real or not. Watching it now, I can see how that could be a possibility. Right up until the credits rolled, and the word, 'written, produced, and directed' scrolled on the screen. That strains the believability index, somewhat.
But it makes you think. What would you do if you were trapped in the woods with two guys and a tent, and you saw those stick figure things, heard those voices?
Me, thats my worst nightmare.
See, in all horror movies, if it isn't all psychological, there comes this point when the chick (isn't it always a chick?) just gets fed up with being scared and running around screaming, and starts to get mad and fighting back. That is always the best part. Because you are past the cheap scares and the vicarious terror. You get mad with them, and you cheer them on for going flat out Zero Gundam on their asses. Best fucking part.
Me, if my life was destined to end in a horror movie-like way, I would want a physical monster. Because theres only so many times it can suddenly leer at you through your bedroom window in the dead of night before you just snap and start blasting away with the shotgun.
But the voices in the woods.
When I went to summer camp, as people do, there was the traditional scary story they gave you to scare the shit out of you, and ultimately keep you out of the woods. For Camp Indian Springs, it was the crazy people.
Now, to every good ghost story, there is a grain of truth. In Tallahassee, there was indeed a closed down insane asylum, with its own share of creepy stories of kids sneaking in and shit happening, by the name of Sunland. The name alone speaks volumes. According to a highly reliable website ::twitch::, it was built in the 40's for Tuberculosis treatment, and later became a flop house for mentally retarded people. Stories of hyper numbers of feeding tubes, electro-shock therapy, and extreme fire hazards all haunt the interwebs, but no one really knows why it closed down. The theory that I have heard to be the most likely was that the walls were lined with asbestos, a cancer-inducing flame retardent. The website claims that this is not an adaquete reason to abandon such an expensive facility, but in truth, asbestos replacement and clean-up is a red tape nightmare, not to mention expensive.
But whatever the reason, it closed down in the 80's, lending to the question, 'Where did all those crazy people go?' The answer our counsillers gave us (or the older kids who knew everything)? Camp Indian Springs.
I won't bore you with the details, but in essence these crazies were crazy like foxes, escaped into the woods, and managed to morph into psychopathic mutant primates that could clamor through the trees to drop down and kill an entire regiment of guards, leaving only one alive to tell the tale. Kind of like Anaconda, I guess.
Anyway, story went that they were in the woods still, but no one was really willing to go in there to round them up, so stay the fuck out of those woods, children.
Even as a ten-year-old I found the actual story itself suspect, but the idea of organized, bug-fuck nuts killers out there in the trees a really fucking scary idea.
Think about it. They know you're there. You may not know about them. Standing in the woods, they could be anywhere, and see you. You probably will never see them. They know these woods far better than you ever could, and don't really have to strain themselves to track you. They can just follow the panicked screams.
But even that isn't all that bad. Because there probably will come a point when you're like Jim out of 28 Days Later and you just go hardcore, sit tight, wait for the fuckers to come to you, and then you slit their throats with your highly unlikely sewing needle or something.
But the idea of hearing children's voices from outside the tent, and suddenly being knocked over when the tent wall fucking moves. That is scary as fuck. Because thats the moment when you can no longer kid yourself about it being your imagination. Something fucking physically bashed at your tent, and is out there in the dark. And it has no comunction about fucking with you.
Thats creepy.
So, what would you do? What would anyone do?
The kids in Blair Witch basically had psychotic breaks. The crying, the incessant screaming, the rocking back and forth... When Josh disappeared, they just kind of... deflated. Heather got more and more hysterical, and Mike was desperate to find Josh, who was either in the woods, fucking with them right along with the crazies, or was in a ditch somewhere with some flesh and teeth missing.
But there was no anger.
Just to warn you, the rest of this is kind of a, 'What Would I Do?' thing.
Now see, me? When I'm scared, my eyes tear up. I don't actually sob, but there are tears just running down my face for no apparent reason. Its weird. So there would be a lot of shots with me with teary eyes, even if I wasn't really saying much.
Also when I'm freaked out (or at any time, really) I talk to myself. And given the hopelessness of their situation when they fail to leave, I would probably stop giving a fuck anymore. So I'd start talking, yelling, making jokes, anything to keep the noise up. I approved when they started singing. And I would probably serve another purpose by letting the others know I was dead by shutting up.
Ya'll can just imagine trying to sleep and suddenly hearing my voicing singing something fucking creepy out in the dark, can't you?
Heh.
Yeah, but anyway. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THE WITCH THING DO? Answer: It makes you stand in a corner, and then pushes you over.
Anti-fucking-climax.
Anyway, I would make it my short-lived (in more ways that one) goal to go out with an extremely loud fight.
Also, I think Josh desevred to die because of the damn tape he supposedly made.
Hm. Lj = therapy. Check.
Number of times the word 'fuck' in any of its forms was used = 11
Oh, and heres the Sunland website, if you want.
Peace.
Like watching The Blair Witch Project.
I remember when this came out nearly ten years ago (its been that long, guys). The big hype was if the film was real or not. Watching it now, I can see how that could be a possibility. Right up until the credits rolled, and the word, 'written, produced, and directed' scrolled on the screen. That strains the believability index, somewhat.
But it makes you think. What would you do if you were trapped in the woods with two guys and a tent, and you saw those stick figure things, heard those voices?
Me, thats my worst nightmare.
See, in all horror movies, if it isn't all psychological, there comes this point when the chick (isn't it always a chick?) just gets fed up with being scared and running around screaming, and starts to get mad and fighting back. That is always the best part. Because you are past the cheap scares and the vicarious terror. You get mad with them, and you cheer them on for going flat out Zero Gundam on their asses. Best fucking part.
Me, if my life was destined to end in a horror movie-like way, I would want a physical monster. Because theres only so many times it can suddenly leer at you through your bedroom window in the dead of night before you just snap and start blasting away with the shotgun.
But the voices in the woods.
When I went to summer camp, as people do, there was the traditional scary story they gave you to scare the shit out of you, and ultimately keep you out of the woods. For Camp Indian Springs, it was the crazy people.
Now, to every good ghost story, there is a grain of truth. In Tallahassee, there was indeed a closed down insane asylum, with its own share of creepy stories of kids sneaking in and shit happening, by the name of Sunland. The name alone speaks volumes. According to a highly reliable website ::twitch::, it was built in the 40's for Tuberculosis treatment, and later became a flop house for mentally retarded people. Stories of hyper numbers of feeding tubes, electro-shock therapy, and extreme fire hazards all haunt the interwebs, but no one really knows why it closed down. The theory that I have heard to be the most likely was that the walls were lined with asbestos, a cancer-inducing flame retardent. The website claims that this is not an adaquete reason to abandon such an expensive facility, but in truth, asbestos replacement and clean-up is a red tape nightmare, not to mention expensive.
But whatever the reason, it closed down in the 80's, lending to the question, 'Where did all those crazy people go?' The answer our counsillers gave us (or the older kids who knew everything)? Camp Indian Springs.
I won't bore you with the details, but in essence these crazies were crazy like foxes, escaped into the woods, and managed to morph into psychopathic mutant primates that could clamor through the trees to drop down and kill an entire regiment of guards, leaving only one alive to tell the tale. Kind of like Anaconda, I guess.
Anyway, story went that they were in the woods still, but no one was really willing to go in there to round them up, so stay the fuck out of those woods, children.
Even as a ten-year-old I found the actual story itself suspect, but the idea of organized, bug-fuck nuts killers out there in the trees a really fucking scary idea.
Think about it. They know you're there. You may not know about them. Standing in the woods, they could be anywhere, and see you. You probably will never see them. They know these woods far better than you ever could, and don't really have to strain themselves to track you. They can just follow the panicked screams.
But even that isn't all that bad. Because there probably will come a point when you're like Jim out of 28 Days Later and you just go hardcore, sit tight, wait for the fuckers to come to you, and then you slit their throats with your highly unlikely sewing needle or something.
But the idea of hearing children's voices from outside the tent, and suddenly being knocked over when the tent wall fucking moves. That is scary as fuck. Because thats the moment when you can no longer kid yourself about it being your imagination. Something fucking physically bashed at your tent, and is out there in the dark. And it has no comunction about fucking with you.
Thats creepy.
So, what would you do? What would anyone do?
The kids in Blair Witch basically had psychotic breaks. The crying, the incessant screaming, the rocking back and forth... When Josh disappeared, they just kind of... deflated. Heather got more and more hysterical, and Mike was desperate to find Josh, who was either in the woods, fucking with them right along with the crazies, or was in a ditch somewhere with some flesh and teeth missing.
But there was no anger.
Just to warn you, the rest of this is kind of a, 'What Would I Do?' thing.
Now see, me? When I'm scared, my eyes tear up. I don't actually sob, but there are tears just running down my face for no apparent reason. Its weird. So there would be a lot of shots with me with teary eyes, even if I wasn't really saying much.
Also when I'm freaked out (or at any time, really) I talk to myself. And given the hopelessness of their situation when they fail to leave, I would probably stop giving a fuck anymore. So I'd start talking, yelling, making jokes, anything to keep the noise up. I approved when they started singing. And I would probably serve another purpose by letting the others know I was dead by shutting up.
Ya'll can just imagine trying to sleep and suddenly hearing my voicing singing something fucking creepy out in the dark, can't you?
Heh.
Yeah, but anyway. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THE WITCH THING DO? Answer: It makes you stand in a corner, and then pushes you over.
Anti-fucking-climax.
Anyway, I would make it my short-lived (in more ways that one) goal to go out with an extremely loud fight.
Also, I think Josh desevred to die because of the damn tape he supposedly made.
Hm. Lj = therapy. Check.
Number of times the word 'fuck' in any of its forms was used = 11
Oh, and heres the Sunland website, if you want.
Peace.
