put your shirt back on

So, my dad the pharmaceutical toxicologist heard about my little temper tantrum in Bio class and gave me hell about it.

Not that he disagrees with me bucking the system. He doesn't. He's a bigger anarchist than I am. Its just that he's upset that I sacrificed my grade to make a point.

According to him, the point of the exercise was to just play dumb and give him an arbitrary number that looked right. I knew that was part of it. But apparently learning to just give them what they want is a part of life.

I know this. I do. Acting up usually comes with the price of getting bit. The way of the world, etc etc.

I just didn't feel like buckling down, that day.

I think my dad's afraid that I'll fall back into old habits. I didn't make good grades in grade school because I didn't think I should have to. I grew past this mentality for the most part, but I have to admit, when I'm pissed off, it's tempting to shoot myself in the foot just to make a point.

I do it with people. I do it with work. I'm doing it with school.

So, yeah, there is a lesson that I missed. I just missed it on purpose.

I am so angry right now.

I got up at seven today so I could catch a ride back to Pensacola for my test. The storm looms, but I'm determined. My ride is running behind, what with the weather, and I come to realize that I'm not going to make it. In despair, I call my professor's office, telling him that I won't make it and informing him that I will be making an appointment in his office hours to plead my case and to make it up.

I then use my friend's iPhone to check my e-mail, so I can send my professor my request digitally. There's an e-mail from my professor.

Because of people like me, stranded by the storm, he's administering two tests, one today and one next Monday.

I am jubilant. I get back to campus, thrilled at the extra study time and happily unpack my bags, ready to get down to my next class of the day.

I get a phone call from my friend.

I've been in town for twenty minutes.
The school posted a notice, ten minutes ago, that all classes are canceled until fucking Thursday.

TEN. MINUTES. AGO. Like the impending hurricane was some new development.

I am so unspeakably angry and frustrated right now. I was in an absolute rush, panicking most of yesterday over the test, neglecting my family and my friends in my worry. I rush back to my responsibilities only to find that, oops, just kidding! No class on account of that pesky storm we assured you wouldn't affect classes! Take a load off, kids!

I think I'm going to cry. At the risk of sounding two years old, this is so infuriatingly unfair and stupid. I feel sick, thinking about how many sacrifices I made to be responsible about this.

I call my father, who blandly says, "I had a feeling that this would happen."

'I TOLD YOU SO' DOES NOT MAKE THIS BETTER, DAD. THANKS.

I am so, so angry at this school, right now.


EDIT: Not three seconds after posting this, I put up a 'fuck you' message to Ida on Facebook.
Someone commented on it, asking me to watch my language.
I'm exhausted, frustrated, and pissed off. But that comment toppled this whole clusterfuck of a situation into comedy. I laughed until I cried and deleted the update.
This sucks so hard, but now I see the funny side. XD